Everyone likes to win.

Sounds like a sappy platitude used in those cheesy greeting cards, doesn’t it?

But, it’s true. After all, why would this topic come up in every single one of my client coaching sessions last week? Think about it.

Everyone likes to win. To feel success. To taste and smell victory. To receive an award for their efforts and recognition for giving it their best. Just ask the Dallas Mavericks fans. After losing the NBA title to the Miami Heat, this city was down in the dumps.

Yeah, yeah, I know some of you could care less about sports. That’s fine. But, even if you dislike sports, I’ll bet you do care about winning.

Face it. Winning is about something much greater than the biggest NBA playoff game or baseball series. Winning is directly related to how we define our successes and accomplishments.

You want to win in your career. Be the best salesperson in your company. Be successful in growing your small business. And that’s just in our professional lives. We also want to win in our relationships. To succeed as a parent, a spouse, a friend.

Not in a competitive, “I win, you lose,” type of way. But, to feel successful. To know we have given it our best. To feel like we are winning - not losing, failing and messing up all the time. No one wants to be a loser.

If we hate to lose and to feel like a failure, then WHY do we set ourselves up for it so much of the time?

During one client session recently, my high-achieving, talented client came to his call down and dejected. Before he even gave me a recap of his goals for the week, I could hear the defeat and resignation in his voice. From his perspective, he definitely didn’t feel like a winner. I was very curious to know why, given that he was diligently working every day to get more clients and to build his book of business.

Determined to uncover what was really going on, I asked him how he defined success. How he measured his daily wins. And, how he knew when he was being successful.

“Well,” he said. “I just know when I feel like I am winning. It’s a feeling I get at the end of the day when I know I have given it my best.”

I pressed him further. I wanted him to get really clear about success and HOW he could achieve it. “I guess I feel successful when I am bringing in new business and closing deals.”

As we talked further, it became clear to me that he was attempting to play a game that he could not possibly control - or win. His goal of closing deals and maintaining his position as #1 in sales was certainly inspiring and definitely within reach. Yet, he was setting himself up for frustration and failure. Can you relate?

How often do you have those days that you feel focused more on the things you haven’t done? Frustrated by your lack of ability to perform, stay productive and meet your oh-so-high expectations for yourself?

Well, I have some good news and bad news…

Continue Reading…