Here’s another book for you, dear reader. Smart Women Finish Rich written by David Bach is jam packed with helpful financial advice for women, as well as some sobering facts. I couldn’t believe how much I learned in such a short time, and I credit that to Bach’s reader friendly writing and helpful real-life stories.

Here are some juicy tidbits I learned:

1. Women earn 25% less than men.

2. Women spend 11.5 years off the job v. 16 months for men.

3. Only 5% of Americans can afford to retire at 65.

4. If possible, women should sock away 12% of every pay into a high yielding retirement account.

5. Time is of the essence - start saving sooner rather than later because money compounds over time.

6. Think about what you value and how money may or may not be able to help you achieve those desires.

7. Write yourself a $10 million check, stick it up in your bathroom and look at it every day, believing it’s going to happen.

8. Have a rainy day account which holds at least 6 months of money to survive in case you lose your job, your health or both.

9. Pull your credit reports, which you can do for free once a year, and double check them to make sure all is in order.

10. Get rid of your fear and anxiety about money. Instead, educate yourself as much as possible and treat moola with respect.

11. Best way to get out of debt? Start paying for everything in CASH. Suddenly, shelling out four 20s for a pair of jeans hardly seems worth it.

Whew! These are just some highlights, but the point is that the book was helpful and NOT scary. Check it out!!! It’s entirely worth knowing.

This afternoon I headed out to hear a Tibetan Buddhist monk speak about some of the history and teachings of Buddhism. Afterwards, there was a festive potluck and great feasting and kibbitzing to be had.

So, at one point I found myself in the kitchen listening to a man who had just run the Pengally Double Dip race yesterday. Now, this may not mean much to those of you outside of Missoula, Montana, but, I think the subtitle of the race says it all: “an epic trail run of elephantine proportions”. Now, yours truly did NOT run this race, but I have great respect for those who did because of what it entails. First, you run UP a mountain (UP a MOUNTAIN!!!), then down into a canyon only to run UP another mountain (yes, up ANOTHER mountain!!!) and then back down a mountain, traversing along a river until you get back to the University of Montana’s campus.

My knees were barking just listening to the description. Oh, yeah, and did I mention that it is 12.5 miles LONG!? ‘Nuff said!

Our brave comrade who ran the race joked and said that he probably wouldn’t be running for the next week, at least. And he left us to contemplate the fact that he had completed it in 2 hours and 16 minutes. Riiiiggghhhhhtttttt. Okay. I am humbled.

After his departure, the rest of swapped stories of our running highlights and we came to one conclusion. When we were younger, we all pushed ourselves to run *hard*, were driven, and, most likely, didn’t stop or slow our cadences for anyone or anything. I certainly was among this group. When I would train for martial arts or boxing, I would run miles everyday, lift weights, jump rope, do pushups and situps, and then run some more. I was a machine. Militant, even.

But, like others in this small group, somehow in the past few years I lost that drive. Oh, it’s still there, don’t get me wrong, but it’s tempered now. I slow for flowers and dogs and vistas. I breathe deeply. I cheer alongside birds in the mornings and hold court with owls at dusk. I’m more tortoise these days than hare.

One woman in the group said it best when she said that during her youth she ran so hard because she was likely running away from something. The moment she discovered what it was, everything slowed down. So, is that it? Does wisdom come with the ability and desire to slow down? In racing by swiftly like the hare, do we peter out and miss all which is around us, beckoning our attention?

I’m not sure, but it sounds right to me.

Although, dear readers, I’m keen to hear your own thoughts on the matter.

Over the weekend, I flew cross country and picked up a few books to read while in transit. One of them was *most* remarkable and entirely thought provoking. Entitled The Biology of Belief, Dr. Bruce Lipton focuses in on how our thoughts have the ability to affect us even at the cellular level. A cell biologist by trade, he’s performed pioneering studies on this topic at both the University of Wisconsin’s School of Medicine and Stanford’s School of Medicine.

One of the points he makes in this book is that we become what we believe, even at the cellular level. In essence, we become our thoughts. Consider a Baylor School of Medicine study, published in 2002 in the New England Journal of Medicine which evaluated surgery for patients with “severe, debilitating knee pain”. Dr. Bruce Moseley, the lead author of the study, was ultimately trying to discover which aspect of surgery brought his patients relief. To do so, his patients were divided into three groups: one received the full surgery, another had their knee joints flushed of the material thought to be causing inflammation and the last received nothing, except they *thought* they had surgery (Lipton, p. 139). All groups were prescribed the same post-surgery care.

What the study shows is that the placebo group “improved just as much as the other two groups”. In fact, the patients in the placebo group didn’t even find out that they didn’t actually have surgery for two years. Lipton writes, “One member of the placebo roup, Tim Perez, who had to walk with a cane before the surgery, is now able to play basketball with his grandchildren…he told Discovery Health Channel: ‘In this world anything is possible when you put your mind to it. I know that your mind can work miracles’” (Lipton, p. 140).

If it’s true that our thoughts hold this much power, then it leads me to wonder just how my thoughts may be getting in the way of how I’m living my life. What aspects of my thinking are sabotaging that which I want the most? Which thoughts are propelling me towards my goals? If nothing else, this question is really making me examine the mental tape which continually plays in my mind. By tuning in, perhaps I’ll learn how it’s directing my life, as it’s been some time since I checked. I blame my busy life, of course!

Still, it’s no excuse to let my mind run on auto-pilot. I am reminded of the following quote from Gandhi:

Your beliefs become your thoughts
Your thoughts become your words
Your words become your actions
Your actions become your habits
Your habits become your values
Your values become your destiny

My greatest challenge in the next few weeks will be to determine my beliefs and to see *how* they are affecting my thoughts. To do this, I’ve decided to undergo a bit of an experiment. I’m going to create a new belief for myself and infuse my thoughts with it. I’ll let you know what I discover.

In the meantime, I challenge you to do the same. Keep me posted on your discoveries, and I’ll do the same. Deal?

Everyone likes to win.

Sounds like a sappy platitude used in those cheesy greeting cards, doesn’t it?

But, it’s true. After all, why would this topic come up in every single one of my client coaching sessions last week? Think about it.

Everyone likes to win. To feel success. To taste and smell victory. To receive an award for their efforts and recognition for giving it their best. Just ask the Dallas Mavericks fans. After losing the NBA title to the Miami Heat, this city was down in the dumps.

Yeah, yeah, I know some of you could care less about sports. That’s fine. But, even if you dislike sports, I’ll bet you do care about winning.

Face it. Winning is about something much greater than the biggest NBA playoff game or baseball series. Winning is directly related to how we define our successes and accomplishments.

You want to win in your career. Be the best salesperson in your company. Be successful in growing your small business. And that’s just in our professional lives. We also want to win in our relationships. To succeed as a parent, a spouse, a friend.

Not in a competitive, “I win, you lose,” type of way. But, to feel successful. To know we have given it our best. To feel like we are winning - not losing, failing and messing up all the time. No one wants to be a loser.

If we hate to lose and to feel like a failure, then WHY do we set ourselves up for it so much of the time?

During one client session recently, my high-achieving, talented client came to his call down and dejected. Before he even gave me a recap of his goals for the week, I could hear the defeat and resignation in his voice. From his perspective, he definitely didn’t feel like a winner. I was very curious to know why, given that he was diligently working every day to get more clients and to build his book of business.

Determined to uncover what was really going on, I asked him how he defined success. How he measured his daily wins. And, how he knew when he was being successful.

“Well,” he said. “I just know when I feel like I am winning. It’s a feeling I get at the end of the day when I know I have given it my best.”

I pressed him further. I wanted him to get really clear about success and HOW he could achieve it. “I guess I feel successful when I am bringing in new business and closing deals.”

As we talked further, it became clear to me that he was attempting to play a game that he could not possibly control - or win. His goal of closing deals and maintaining his position as #1 in sales was certainly inspiring and definitely within reach. Yet, he was setting himself up for frustration and failure. Can you relate?

How often do you have those days that you feel focused more on the things you haven’t done? Frustrated by your lack of ability to perform, stay productive and meet your oh-so-high expectations for yourself?

Well, I have some good news and bad news…

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Missoula, Montana has some pretty fantastic hip little coffee joints, and I’m often meeting friends at these places to catch up and swap life stories. Lately, though, I’ve been feeling as if I need to take myself out for a cup of joe to find out how I *really* am.

I’ve been so busy lately that I’ve neglected my regular check-ins filled with all those friendly questions of concern: Am I happy? Fulfilled? In Limbo? What’s feeding me? What’s feeding off of me? What needs to change?

Only in patiently and quietly listening to my inner voice can I ever hope to achieve balance and equilibrium.

The trick is simply showing up and carving out the time.

I figure that a good cup of coffee or other toasty beverage can last up to at least 30 minutes or so, which is plenty of time to hold court with one’s self, peer into one’s emotional plane and inquire about the internal weather.

Even if it’s all F5 tornadoes and Category 5 hurricanes at least you braved the terrain for a few moments. My hunch is that by acquiring this self awareness, the external world takes on a different tone, even allowing for the diffusion of such destructive weather systems.

In the end, it’s only the things we’re unaware of which have power over us.

A cup of joe never looked so good.

When it comes to your job, are you going through the motions? Does your career and life seem to be running on autopilot? Has the mundane and ho-hum replaced the excitement, drive and passion you once had for your work?

If so, you’ve got a classic case of “Career Stagnation Syndrome” – that’s CSS for short.

But, wait a moment. How can I know for sure? What are the complications of CSS? More importantly, how can I get rid of it? You know you may be experiencing “Career Stagnation Syndrome” if:

• Your job has become a fixed and boring routine or “rut;”
• Your career is no longer a path, but a monotonous cycle;
• Your motivation is not as high as it once was; and
• Despite your performance, the satisfaction you once had with your job and your career path is slowly, yet steadily taking a nose dive!

Sound familiar? Although you may feel like the only one out there struggling to rekindle the motivation and to avoid the rut that seems to get deeper and deeper, take heart. Chances are your coworkers, team members – even your manager or VP – may be similarly stuck in the “I-can’t-seem-to-snap-out-of-it” rut.

It happens to the best of us, especially if we no longer feel challenged. And, it can sneak up on us when we least expect it. One minute, our career performance and overall job satisfaction couldn’t be higher and then, something happens. Like hitting a pothole in the road, our motivation takes a dip. It can even happen to us when we are performing above and beyond company expectations, exceeding our sales goals, and achieving great success.

Recently, one of my new clients confessed that, despite reaching his annual sales goal and setting a new company record, he felt “stuck in a rut.” That fire he once had for his job is gone and the challenge, excitement and opportunity that initially compelled him to take the job in the first place has evaporated into thin air.

And, just when we think we are safe, CSS can strike, zapping all the best laid plans to move our career forward…

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I had a bright flash of inspiration this morning (thank you, Michael).

It’s time for all of us to lighten up - including myself!

In fact, most of us would be much better off if we adopted the attitude of Homer Simpson. Not the “loud belching in public” Homer Simpson, but the Homer who says “D’oh!” and then moves on from his mistakes.

If you really think about it, a mistake only becomes a mistake when you hang on to it, rather than saying, “I goofed,” and moving on. Letting out a big “D’oh!” and accepting that a mistake is just something that happens, not something you ARE.

Too often, I find that bright, talented and successful people take their mistakes to heart and wear them around like a scarlet letter. Mistakes they have made in working with clients, communicating with coworkers, not following through on a big opportunity or potential sale.

If you asked them if they learned from their mistakes and moved on, you would get a resounding “yes!” In their minds, they have learned from their mistake, brushed it off, and then moved on. But, somewhere inside, the missteps, mistakes, lost opportunities, and mishaps build up and can become a part of who you are.

How often do we say, “I am sorry,” for something that slipped through the cracks - a phone call we forgot to return, an email we didn’t send to a colleague, an error in estimating a project completion date - when what we really need to say is “I goofed.” Feel the difference?

Certainly, they are times that we DO need to take ownership of our actions and attitudes. But, there’s a difference between taking ownership and taking it to heart.

A few weeks ago, I remarked to my client that it was indeed possible for him to still deliver great value to his client in the same moment that he acknowledged a mistake in his work with them. And, in that moment, “I am sorry” is not always the best response. A simple “D’oh” will often do. Funny, how I gave that same advice to myself this week after missing a deadline.

If a “goof” is something that happens, not something about me as a person, then it certainly makes sense that “I goofed” is far more appropriate in most circumstances than “I am sorry.”

Sure, there are exceptions. If you find yourself saying “D’oh” over and over again for the same mistake, then take a closer look. There’s a bigger problem behind that “goof” that needs your attention. Or, there’s another source to your problem that you need to uncover.

But, for the successful, capable, well-intentioned person, a simple “I goofed” will do just fine.

Just ask Homer. It works for him!

Technorati Tags: letting go, mistakes, stress, communication, Homer Simpson

Find the beat of your own heart…the pulse beneath the pulse which tells you, subtly, the way to proceed in the world. It is your radar; your intuition. Listen to it carefully, and I promise it will never steer you wrong. And you know what? Don’t mind the naysayers who will tell you, some more loudly than others, that what you want to do in the world is “silly” or “impractical” or even “irresponsible”…ad infinitum, ad nauseum.

Ignore these comments.

I’ve known too many people who have walked to the beat of someone else’s drum and have wound up miserable and resentful.

I’d like to believe we’re all too bright for that.

What would it look like if we all cast off our dimmers and illuminated ourselves for others? Imagine the possibilities!

Email: wonderful technological innovation or necessary evil?

My answer varies depending on the day. What’s your response?

Perhaps today is not a good day to ask me. You see, I have just finished a marathon session of answering emails and other electronic inquiries, both for my own business and for another project I am currently working on. Earlier this evening, I spent 90 minutes at the computer and on email - a marathon session to say the least. I almost broke my own rule of working consistently on a project without taking a BRAC break (taking a break every 90-120 minutes to renew energy) in my efforts to be proactive and handle the constant influx of emails to my inbox.

No reason to expound on why I had 150+ emails (all real, no spam) to answer…suffice it to say it has been a very busy couple of days. It’s time for a VA to help me answer emails! Interested? Please send me an email.

So, I finished this marathon session in a slightly grumpy mood. Sure, I did feel a great sense of accomplishment in being able to say I had responded in a timely manner to several important emails and requests. But, I felt frustrated and a bit irritable. Why? I guess I was reminded of how email can literally consume your life, if you don’t tame your inbox. More about that in a minute…

I know I am not alone. My clients tell me about their out-of-control inboxes and their constant fight to manage their email. On a positive note, one client told me during his session on Tuesday that he whittled his inbox down to zero - an incredible accomplishment for a president of a very successful company. Kudos to you, my dear client!

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We only allow others to feed off of us when we are also hungry. If you hunger, you attract others who are also hungry. It’s an unconscious invitation to allow others to feed off of you. However, if you can find ways to nourish yourself, then your own energy changes. You’ll begin to attract people will likewise feed you.

You move towards satiation and away from starvation.